Trying to Justify
by Beka Rhade
Summary: Rhade tries to figure out why Beka put on the bioarmor and attacked him.
1. Chapter 1

As usual I own nothing. I just got back in school and this is my first posting.

**Trying To Justify**

"Hey Rhade would you mind moving?" Beka asked.

Rhade stepped to the side leaning against the bulkhead with his arms folded across his chest watching her. Dylan had sent them out for supplies and they still had a week before they'd get back to Andromeda.

"Is something wrong?" Beka asked awhile later.

"No."

Beka leaned against the opposite bulkhead. "You haven't moved in the last half hour. The way I see it that's not typical netichzean behavior."

"I was just thinking."

"About?"

"Someone."  
"Does this have anything to do with the bioarmor incident?"

Rhade paused before answering. "How badly do you want me dead?"

"What…I…"

"Never mind."

"Rhade, I don't want you dead."

"Really?" Rhade raised an eyebrow.

"Rhade, I don't know why I did that but…but…"

"Why did you put on the armor?"

"I don't know."

Rhade paused again. "What's your opinion of me?"

"What do you mean?"

"What do you honestly think of me?"

Beka's eyes narrowed. "How much have you heard?"

"Quite a lot though those are just rumors."

Beka stared at the deck. "Well…I…you…you're…"

"Start with Tyr."

"What?"

"I've heard several comparisons."

"You're both different."

"Really? How so?"

"Well you…he…hell what are you getting at?"

"I'm trying to find answers."

"To what?"

"How are Tyr and I different?"

"Why do you need to know?"

"Personal reasons. Why are you avoiding answering?"

"I'm not avoiding anything," Beka replied not liking how his eyes never left her.

"Then give me two ways Tyr and I are different."

"Ah, hell what do you want? Me fall down and say you're better than him?"

"No Rebecca, I'm trying to find some answers. I've heard what you tell the lancers. I've heard the rumors. I'm trying to find out how much is true."

Beka stepped forward until she was right in front of Rhade. "Don't you ever call me that again. If you want answers so damn bad go talk to Rev," she turned to walk away but was surprised when he caught her. The next thing she knew he was pinning her to the bulkhead.

>>>>>

I changed my mind and am now doing this in two parts. I'm basicaly rewriting everything after Rhade pins her to the bulkhead. Hey you out there reading this. That button down there is for something so review. I'll update Jenny when I find the disk that has chapter eight on it.


	2. Chapter 2

Okay the first paragraph is what I ended chapter 1 on. Due to all the confusion I'm writing changing the last of it.

**Trying to Justify Part 2**

Beka stepped forward until she was right in front of Rhade. "Don't you ever call me that again. If you want answers so damn bad go talk to Rev," she turned to walk away but was surprised when he caught her. The next thing she knew he was pinning her to the bulkhead.

"Beka at least listen to me."

"Why the hell should I listen to you?"

"Because I have a growing interest in what happens to you."

"You've never given a damn before."

"How do you know that?"

"We're talking about me here," Beka tried to push him away but he wouldn't move.  
"Beka, give me five minutes. You can't avoid me forever."

"Leave me alone," Beka kept struggling to push him away.

"No," Rhade stepped closer his body now pressing her to the bulkhead.

Beka kept struggling but he didn't move and she had to room to maneuver. She finally looked up surprised by look in his eyes. She couldn't explain it. It almost looked like he was hurt. All of her anger seemed to leave then. "What?"

"Why do you want me dead?"

If looks could kill the one in his eyes would have killed her then. "I don't."

He backed up studying her. The look was gone now covered up by something else she couldn't understand. "Did you see me as something that could interfere with your survival?"

"No,"

He started to turn away. "Fine have it your way."

Beka caught his arm, "Rhade please listen to me. I don't want you dead. You're not worse than Tyr. You're better in some ways, but…but…"Beka stared at her shoes.

There was along silence before lifted her chin so that their eyes meet. "Can we start over?"

It was then that she realized what the look in his eyes was love. The kind of love she'd never seen before though. It was deeper than anything she'd felt before. For a few minutes she just stared at him.

"Do I have a choice?" Beka asked unable to look away form his eyes.

"Yes, you could say that you loved me and-."

That got her attention, "hold it. You never acted like you had feelings for me."

"I haven't? That's funny because the lancers seem to think I have."

"What?"

"The lancers have been placing bets on how it would take us."

"They what!" Beka felt her face turning red.

"They seem to be under the impression that we have something."

"What…I never…we…"

"Did you ever want anything?" Rhade stepped up close to her again. Their eyes met again and this time Beka couldn't resist.

"Well-," Beka didn't even bother to finish her sentence as she wrapped her arms around Rhade's neck and kissing him.

Rhade replied by pulling her closer and deepening the. "I love you Beka."

>>>>>>>

Is this actualy any better than the first ending? I can't seem to get it right. Oh well let me know what you think.

Okay I think this is finaly the end. This was origonaly a one shot and I have loads of other stories to get one here.

Thanks to Orion Wolf, Vee017, Rhade's Rebel, Jemieson, and prin69 for reviews.


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